Mantra count down

This is my last week under civil service rule. I am not feeling anything about it. The count down is not about this last week as civil servant. The count down is going away from my family. Of course, I will make my time with them more frequent as possible.

It will be difficult for my daughter. She will be 5 this August. For the last five years we have not stayed apart except for one or two weeks in a year. She is closer to me than to her mom.

Ever since she was in the formation stage, I used to sing every evening. I heard that babies are sound sensitive that they can recognize the songs or voices when they arrive outside. So, I sang one particular song every evening. My wife had to tolerate my voice though.

I could not sing on the first day after daughter came to this world. If I had, I could have agonized those husbands who were holding babies born from Cesarean section. But I tested the theory the next day when both my females were discharged. I sang near her ears, soft and melodious (exaggerated). She slept peacefully. I sang the song whenever I got the chance. At one month old, I could see her head positioning to my song. I confirmed she did recognize the song.

At three months, I hummed like this - unu waktsa, unu waktsa (this baby, this baby) while holding her. Her head on my palm, legs towards my abdomen, I hummed 'unu waktsa, unu waktsa...". I still do it today although I can't hold her in that position for long now. Her growing legs don't allow it too. But it was at 1.2 years that she shocked me. As usual I picked her up and positioned her head on my palm. Before I hummed my mantra, she hummed it synchronizing to my hands' swing. It was a magic to me. I took her to all her uncles and aunties to boast of my miracle. She obliged whenever I swung her head up and down. Still today, she hums it  when ever I keep my palms under her head. Her uncles try to copy me but she does not hum for her. I think this trend will be continued until we grow old. I can imagine a time when she announces to become a fiancee that I will lift her up and repeat our childhood memories. Her man will find us crazy when she hums "Unu waktsa, unu waktsa" that time.

And what do I have different now? I have a new arrival. He is 15 days old today. Another one week, I will be gone from him only to see him changed his face. I heard babies can change their faces for nine times. I only hope his ninth face is as handsome as his daddy. That should make him proud throughout his life.

Well, what do I do with my son in this limited time. I sniff him. Yes, like a mongrel hunting for a deer. The baby smell is sweet. The smell is stronger in the hands. I smell his gloves. They are wet from putting in his mouth. The breast feed makes it sweet. Every time I sniff him, I implant it in my brain. When I am alone tossing in my bed, I want this smell to come to me. I will be instantly near my baby. So, I sniff him like a mongrel hunting for a deer. Of course, my wife finds it funny. She does not know my brain is capturing every olf of our son.

He is a peaceful boy, sleeps 24 by 7. I got a mantra for him. With the limited time to stay with him, I want him to grow as big as possible in three weeks. I want him to talk to me. I want him to tell me jokes. But he is a little fellow who knows only to sleep. So I hum along that line, in bit of frustration as "Yib yibsa, yib yibsa" which translates to "always sleeping, always sleeping". My daughter caught me while humming to her brother. She too leans towards him and hums along with me. "Yib yibsa, yib yibsa" we sing together for him.

I don't know whether he will be able to recognize my voice when I hum it the next time I see him. If it does not work, I may have to think of another thing. With circumstance, anything will come to the rescue. I will go for a long distance technique that time. But for all the time I have at home with my family, I can hum "unu waktsa, unu waktsa and yib yibsa, yib yibsa" 24 by 7.

Random thoughts

I am swallowing changkey. It is been the only alcoholic drink I consume lately. I can't consume stronger alcohol. My legs are suffering from 'neuropathy'. They deprive me of celebrating my second child. But I take it as a blessing. Soon I am going away from my family and I know I would drink almost every evenings. Now I won't.

The countdown has begun. I have exactly 8 working days to be in civil service. I will be no more a civil servant. It is a long journey in a single life. In last decade, I have changed 3 organizations. I have always believed in office hopping. My belief towards experiencing everything I can within short span of life is going strong. Every job becomes just another job with time. I have experienced my motivation level falling down after 3 years in one organization. It tends to affect my work. To maintain the tempo of performing above marginal level, I need to have zest in my blood. I get that when I change new organization. I have to keep my energy meter raised to the top. And this time, it is an overhaul. I resign from civil service. I am joining one project for 3 years. Perfect duration. I may not be civil servant. But I will be one of the public servants. Looking forward to it. My energy meter is at the top.

Changkey is mild a drink (if I can call it). I think everyone should take it once. It is not readily available though. I thank my wife for delivering us a son. For you, my son. It is my second mug.

I have many things to do in the new place. I wish I get time. First one, I have to complete a set of drawings for my uncle. They are pending for a month.

Second, I have characters waiting in an attempt of a movie script. I know, my friend Ngawang is losing his patience. Whether it finds screen or not, I will make it to the blue print. It is pending since last Thimphu Tsechu.

Third, damn, I am so guilty. My manuscript needs to complete soon. I have enjoyed writing this book. For the first time, I have laughed over what I write. It will be a priority to reach the shelf earliest this year end. Some forms of shapes are already happening in my mind for the third one. I get jittery feelings to attempt an investigative genre. But for now, I have to suppress it.

So much to do, so little time. Ah! third mug? No, thanks. I expect another group of baby showers tomorrow. I will finish off their changkey when they are gone, just like today.