Situation deems

Situation deems different almost in everything. I will narrate on how situation deems different while ‘talking’ in accordance to the listeners or the possible eavesdropper around.

Out of many examples in the world, I shall stick to my own which is supposed to be very personal.

Unlike any surgeries on the human bodies, the surgery of abscess near the anus is different. I assume any operations on any abscesses are same. You experience once and you learn about it-I got one and I learned there are varieties of them named after the location of it. Out of all, only one remained in my mind – breast abscess, because the young lady and I got together in a queue for three hours to operation theatre. The two haemorrhoids introduced each other and learned how painful abscesses could be irrespective of their locations.  When she did not feel shy to tell me she had it on her breast, I told her my location near the anus. I also told her it was painful even to fart. She laughed little but soon went back to the pain.

After half an hour of operation, I was sent back with extra hole. Like I mused on my own aftermath operation I mused on the woman’s breast. I just wondered the location if she went with another hole on her breast . It was not that surgeon forgot to stitch back after letting the pus out. The skin was deliberately left open to pass any germs out before developing to abscess.

After three days, when my own bed started to stench the sewer, I closed the bathroom door and unhooked the wall mirror. On few rehearsals for better rear view I could place the mirror on the floor and bent myself enough to mistake the houseflies present I was into yoga therapy. The band aid and the cotton took ample groans and sighs with abrupt jump of feet to detach off the skin. When at last I viewed in the mirror, I was glad I am a straight. There was the point I even felt thanking my parents for not sending me to monkhood. But if I have had practised sodomy at the receiving end, any slip from the partner would force the germs hell out of the hole. Well, such was the terrific size I saw it in the mirror.

Many months later now, when I have to talk about it, I watch my words according to the people around. To those pair of balls who said their last boil was so painful, I tell them abscess is the mother of boils. I tell them that the surgery left me with extra hole to mistake the sodomy partner. Before anyone doubts my words I compare the size to the ping pong ball and warn them not to mess with me if we ever play table tennis. And the size of the ping pong ball sees many faces convincingly nodding in awe.

But situation deems different as I said. If any of the cousin sisters are around, I bypass many explanations and only tell them the recovery from abscess takes longer duration that one does not find solace in drinking anymore.

When I am done, many cousin sisters wish their drinking husbands get an abscess each. While I like their idea they must not guarantee their husbands don't bed with the same sex. I nod in awe.

P.S.: To those homosexual males and gays, I regretfully notify that I have not written for you to fancy me. For your information, I am fully recovered from perianal abscess without a mark of it.