Confused

Thursday, May 1, 2014

A moment before I open my eyes today, I hear myself saying, “Ugyen, enough is enough”. My own voice shocks me and I get up. It is a weird experience calling my own name along with a statement that cannot make any sense. I have nothing “enough” to live rest of my life in abundance. How I wish I am wealthy enough to stop working a minute more. I would have obviously hinted to that alarm call, put up the resignation letter, hire a chopper from Indian military and fly to Thimphu . I will then shock the hell out of my wife announcing all four of us – myself, wife and two kids, to board on a special charter to meet Mr. Bill Gates wherever he is at the moment. “Do you still want money?” I will ask him. Somehow, I feel he still needs money. I need chopper too.

If it is the spiritual call, can I renounce this chair? I don’t hope so. There shall be no thought on drafting resignation letter for it. I have to keep supplying food on my table, and drinks too. Can I stay naked?

What is it about about then? A nightmare? I do not have tall mirror facing my bed.

Can it be these invisible germs nesting inside my throat? What’s wrong with my invisible WBC? The Invisible(s). They dread to end the lives out of diseases and plagues.

Or is it my unenlightened inconspicuous mind? Yet another “invisible” which is responsible to end the lives in its own ways.

Hold on, something awaits me to cheer me up. Ah! The text on my cell. The office has credited the work I have done. Well, never mind on the tax already deducted at source before the earnings reach me. Can I go against something which is legitimate? See, in the same para, my mood starts to swing.

I look good. I see it the in the mirror every morning after wash ups. It is fortunate I don’t have to keep staring in the same mirror throughout the day.

The reason of this morning’s ordeal? I am so confused.

3 comments:

Dawa Pemo said...

M also thoroughly confused like you. You wrote what i feel at the moment. Enjoyed reading.

Passang Tshering said...

Enough of tolerating shits,
Enough of being a good man,
enough of standing straight,
enough of drinking,
enough of kids, start family planning,
enough of Trongsa,
Enough of engineering,
etc... Trying to help you find the answer!

Yeesi7 said...

Hhaaa. Your mind is juggling in a maze that even I couldn't get what you were thinking exactly. lol
But yeah, the morning alarm part was fun. That's what I do to. Talk my mouth out and later, wake up anyways. No choice right?! Hhaaa

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