I Am Sad

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I am depressed and sad. Never felt sad this way ever before. Middle finger does not work and the thought on pubic hair is a futile try. Watching 3 Idiots is some solace that brings life to middle finger and the hairy bush. I lie in bed and look at my hands attempting another gesture. It is not the fingers but my arm which brings faint smile in my face. I like its muscles, size and color. When I make a fist I can see sadness slipping away from me. Fist has manifested to head and I can imagine how pathetic it looks with only an eye. But why is the head so big? I hear dog barking at a distance and I get an answer of its size. The dogs on heat in back to back positions; I thank god it is my arm.

My phone rings with the vibration mode on. A friend tells me about the situation gone wrong and I feel sad, very sad. Arm and fist fail to disrupt my commotion even after thinking them the respectable organs of donkey and elephant. Reading Five Point Someone on anecdotes of mechanical engineering students is comforting and my mind drifts to machine, on to the phone. Men make machines and they are fast. Vibration of my phone is fast. My body wants to vibrate fast, very fast like the phone. I want to measure the frequency of my vibration but I have not come across the measuring instrument made by men. Same as men make phones vibrate fast I long for men making men vibrate fast. Sadly no one has attempted it before and never think it can be done later. I remain sad.

It is relieving to think of my conceived wife. We will be parents and more than that I will be a father. I want my child to call me dad and to my wife as mom. But from the way she feels the kick in the womb every time I call her Maggi, I wonder whether a child will call her mom. I will be a deplorable father on earth if my child calls her Mag instead of mom. I will be sad and thinking of it makes me sad. I am sad, really sad.


ME said...

hey chill...have no worries... a mom will alys remain a mom no matter what a child calls her... cheers!!!

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