A Wait

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Winter sun peeked lazily from the mountain as I opened the curtains of windows; the light entered the room shining the black unseasoned timber floor. The reflection of window pane hit the altar jar which refracted certain light and disposed remaining to the wall. For a moment my room seemed like a home and not the detention room of chronic cancer house. Weak and trembling, I was breathing hard from the mouth producing a gushing sound each time I breathed. Few cars parked distant to my room were covered with frost and ice, early catchers rushing to work place draped in thick coats and mufflers, hands tucked in the pockets. Few women probably from municipal office were with their children in their backs trying to reach the first call of attendance. Over the roofs were low hanging mist making difficult to look beyond what I usually see. A smoke from bhukhari made its way through the mist fuming in circles and disappearing along the touchline of sun rays. I imagined children sitting around the heat of bukhari right out of their cozy beds and waiting for the mother to serve them porridge, while some smaller siblings would have taken the routine to wail and cry distracting their mother from morning chores.

I did not remember how long I stood in my window but the scene I saw had relieved me some pain. I had almost forgotten my childhood days. For three years I played with my brothers as normal like any other kids in the neighborhood until a similar malady of disease affected my elder brother. Bedridden for few months and his body was doused by decubitus ulcer of skin. Nodes started to form all over the body; his eyes went pale, lost his hairs, coughed heavily for few weeks and passed away in wee hour. Chain of augur started its plague when another brother suffered the same. He did not stay longer when I started showing similar signs. And from thence, localities stigmatized and condemned our family which berated my parents, cursed themselves and put me into this room.

As I looked out of the window, I wanted to take porridge from my mother, fight over with my brothers, run out of the house and join the friends for another escapade of the day.

But I knew I had only few days to live and when my family members don’t hear me cough, they will break into my room and cry over me.


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