A Letter to My Parents

Dear Parents,

I did not know until I attended my 9^th birthday. Knowing the truth put me into mental agitation. I thank my grandparents for all the parental love. They never let me remind you but I am sad having known your divorce when I was just 1 year old.

I stood first in my class and teachers always loved my skills on co-curricular activities.

This year I have dropped my rank. Enthusiasms to dance on stage and participate in literature competition are dying. I do not believe my teachers saying mothers are equivalent to gods. I do not believe my teachers saying fathers protecting their families. I do not have a god and I remain defenseless.

I have learned that two of you met in high school. I have learned that two of you fell in love at once. I have learned that everyone was happy when your marriage got materialised. Who would not be happy marrying to their first love?

My birth must have been a jinx. You started quarreling after I was born. There was not an event where two of you could come to terms. And before I wanted to speak my first word of father or mother, you had already left me with my paternal grandparents. I tell you I did not miss calling you my father or mother until I knew the truth. Now I feel I have missed my childhood days and every time I miss these I simply hate myself.

I despise when I see my friends with their parents. My happy days are draining away from me and this has become an impending factor to a successful life.

I no more watch the films and no more read the children's books. When the film revolves around parents-children relationship I simply shed the tears. I am hurt and I feel deprived of the worldly love. Seeking solace in the anthologies of books is no longer solacing.

I am experiencing the grief of your disintegration. I have become vulnerable and a powerless kid.

I may not bring you back and I do not hope even if you come to me I will be as happy as I should be because I have already lost your care.

Well, out of many questions I have that haunt and cripple me in my life, I will ask simply one.

Was getting divorced the only solution in your lives?

Yours 10 year old daughter,

Yangchen