I Am A Mathematician and I Do Not Have A Girlfriend

Sunday, April 11, 2010

A conference was held for all the great mathematicians in the world. They talked on all the chapters of mathematics and no one uttered away from their work. Three days conference became an irksome to one professor and to agitate the floor he changed the topic to any away from mathematics. But their topic still revolved around theorems. One proved that a horse has infinite legs and one proved human beings cannot die. (I will assume readers had gone through these theorems).

I remember my mathematics teacher in school who never had a friend and never changed his dress. Short, stout and thick lens he walked murmuring the words we did not hear. When we asked what he was reciting every time, he told us he was playing chess. Indeed he played the chess himself at his house. Rain or sunshine he always carried an umbrella. And in heavy downpour we would see him wet forgetting an umbrella in his hand. We had to shout and remind him and with an astonishing smile he would unfold his umbrella but had to start his game from the start. One weekend I went to solve the question and I encountered him taking bath in the open corridor without a dress on his skin. To us he was Albert Einstein who asked a passerby if he knew the house of Albert Einstein when got lost on his way home.

Well, it was still boring in the conference room with all the theories and tensors of mathematics. So the professor from the podium pointed to one mathematician and demanded to tell about his wife. The mathematician rose from his chair, adjusted his thick lens and said he was not yet married. He was narrating the derivation of marriages made in heaven when he had to cut short and tell about his girlfriend if he had any.

The mathematician thought for a while and told the story of how he saw a girl while he went for the professorship in a university. He said she was so beautiful and wanted to talk to her. He calculated the distance and he was 10m away from her. He said he was nervous and did not dare to jump 10m in a go. He decided to jump half the distance which he would be nearer to her by 5m. He fixed the formula of jumping half the distance and he was near to her by 2.5m. From there he said he kept on jumping half the distance and he never reached the girl. So he deduced he did not have a girlfriend.

Similarly, I become mathematicians whenever beautiful girls reject my love. I have become Einstein, Laplace, Gauss and yet to become many more.

Ah! There she goes. The speed of her legs must be 4km/hr and if she covers the distance of.......................(It starts to clog my mind)


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